What I need is someone who can be there when I need him, who wouldn't accuse me of being unreasonable when I want to see him, who tries to make time for me even if I didn't ask him, and who cares enough to ask me about my day even if I snap at him.

Sigh...

Is it wrong to have an ideal type in mind?

Being with you is like treading in a mine field. I never know when I'm going to step on a mine and blow into pieces.

My biggest mistake was in telling you that it's okay because I'll be there for you. It taught you that I'll be there no matter how you treat me, and that you can have ideals but I cannot choose a side.

I wonder if you know how I feel?

How should I act so that you notice my pain and try to take some of it away?

Or will that never happen?

Will you forever be stuck in that rut of yours, reliving the past that has gone, and never looking towards the present, the future, where I am standing?

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I said I'd change for the better; if not for you, then for myself, because I know I'm not the best of character. I can only hope that as I change, some part of you might change too, to be nicer to me.

But at the same time, I'm afraid of that thought; that if you love someone, you should not try to change them.

I once thought that only applies to the acceptable flaws; things like vulgarity, flirtatiousness, insensitivity, and that flaws like violence, addiction and *gasp* prostitution should not be condoned.

But someone told me that no, there will be someone who can accept even flaws like those.

Really?

I don't believe that.

I think that's more a case of when nothing can be done and they have no where else to go, no one else to be with. Hopelessness.

What do you think?

In my opinion... If you truly love someone, you will actually want to better yourself for their sake. Right?

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I'm feeling ever so lonesome tonight.

Someone to talk to, someone who understands. I don't even have a friend like that.

Oh, how depressing.

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